India’s booming economy and debilitating moral structure makes me wonder, is change always a good thing? Don’t get me wrong; I am all for amelioration and staying au courant but is there a way we can sieve change? Take the good and abdicate the bad? You must be wondering what led to the creation of my post; well, it was the movie ‘Life in a Metro’.
To be veracious, I loved the movie--eminent actors and the scenario presented seemed very real—like an insight into India’s convoluted culture. It is definitely a recipe for chitchat at one of my girl’s night out. Jokes aside, someone made a very kosher point; all these non-mainstream movies are produced/ directed by the younger generation. Every generation of movie directors try to illustrate ‘their times’- or portray life as they see it, via films. In Yash Chopra movies, women with remarkable acumen in personal grooming matters and home - making, spend their every living breathing moment dolling up--kinda like trophy wives. Their husband and children define the essence of their existence. I know that whole concept is anathema to women from my generation.
Going by that logic, if the scenario presented in the film is a delineation of the moral standards in India, I am both exasperated and appalled. Is the moral fiber of our society completely corroded? It’s not just films; we all know of at least one person in India whose lifestyle is a mirror-image of what was shown in ‘Life in a Metro’.
It’s interesting how some people living in India have the audacity to point fingers and accuse people living abroad of imbibing salacious values when they are the ones indulging in corruptive measures and we are the ones trying to follow tradition and recreate the essence of Indian culture abroad. How else do you think yoga or chili chicken or bollywood bhangra are popular today amongst non-Indians?
How many of you haven’t been accused of turning ‘English’ or ‘American’ or been called an antagonistic name based on wherever it is you live, just because you have a perspective and the intrepidity to question.
I’d like to clarify one last thing- -progress is about opening your mind to new thoughts, challenging non-applicable midwives tales, and questioning archaic concepts. It’s not about insolence or deceit. You enter perilous waters when you lack the verisimilitude.
Copyright © 06.15.2007
"Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike" - Oscar Wilde
Thursday, June 14, 2007
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28 comments:
awesome piece! love it absolutely! yeah, bring it on suckers:-).
I guess such things always existed in India but only in the so-called "High" societies. Problem we have now is that there are too many people moving to the "high" societes or atleast pretend to be doing so. It is becoming an epidemic and people seem to be loving it.
I think these things always existed in India but like Jaydeep mentioned, only in high societies ...........and interestingly Indians used to make such a big deal out of it in the past, making it judgemental , taboo.........but now , India seems to have chilled and don't freak out that much , its like sab kuch chalta hai.......or as the Americans would have put it "Whatever". At least India seems to be emering out of its hypocrisy.
deepa, do you agree with the way India is going? no morality or devotion to marriage.
what hypocrisy are they emerging out of? we indians never have and never will emrge out of hypocrisy. if that was the case, they would have open marriages and not cheat their spouse, and btw, cheating on your spouse is not 'sab kuch chalta hai'!!!!! as twocents said it , that is not modernism'.
Cheating on your spouse is better than torturing and burning your bride for dowry ...... and this calls for more attention than your spouse sleeping with someone else. I am not supporting this cause but I think we make a super big deal out of it. I have seen women given electric shocks because they could not cope or handle that their husbands were having affairs and hence total disintegration of families. That bothers me, to me , no issue should be above human life. I am not saying people should sleep around, what I am trying to say is that there is life beyond a cheating partner. I would like to quote my maid from India here........mard jaat hai, idhar mooh marega , udhar mooh marega, wapas mere paas aayega......that attitude would at least save me from having a nervous breakdown and receiving electric shock.
us men need more women like you who are open to the idea of cheating. sweet!!!!
I am not open to the idea of cheating, but god forbid, if something of that sort did happen, I would get over it and not ruin my life over it.
i am not indian so it would be unfair to comment on the culture. one thing i can say is that any woman who is okay with a cheating husband or says that she doesn't care, definitely suffers from low self-esteem issues.
The issue is not being ok with a cheating spouse, the issue is about handling a cheating husband. Get the difference???????
my dear, i am not indian either but there is one thing i would like to say, the focus of blog is being drifted from. it's not about chaeting spouses but about the accusations indians face, from people in their homeland.
My comment was in response to Y's comment, not of the blog.
Hey! Why is it always the cheating husbands? Why forget the wife? Women are catching on too. I'm sure there are enough of them sleeping around.. And what is to say that the man, when he is cheating, is cheating with an unmarried woman. (Remember the movie 'Unfaithful'. It was the woman who was married there. as a matter of fact, the man was single, so he wasn't even cheating!) So why just blame the man?
But I have to say this, Deepa - you are certainly scoring a lot of brownie points with all men. One can only imagine the glee a man married to you might experience knowing that relationships with other women is absolutely OK! So tell me again, what is it you are marrying the man for? His money? (Since it certainly is not for love. I would imagine that if a woman loves a man, she'd want him to love her in return. And in my book faithfullness and fidelity come along with that). You know there's a word out there that we call women who are with men just for the money............
And men - for the record, as a woman I can tell you this - Deepa is certainly NOT a true generalization of us women.
I am so glad that I am not a true generalization of YOU women. I am a woman in the true sense of the word. The epitome of ultimate woman. And have the most faithful man in the world , sometimes i wish he would have an affair and cheat on me so that I could take up the stance and join the women's lib.
Deepa just keeps getting better! And now she is wishing her man cheats on her! (Do you have any friends who think like you do? I know a lot of single men who would love to know them) By the way, how long have you been married darling? Assuming that he knows you well enough to know your thoughts, what makes you so certain that he is not cheating already? (Oh! Right! He won't have to cheat.. he can just go about having relationships with other women and you will be just absolutamente perfecto with it)...
Hey there Deepa. You are just contradicting what you have been harping on about. You cannot take up a stance and join the women's lib if your husband cheats. Did you not state earlier that you will be just fine with it if he does. At least be true to yourself girl! Why are you so desperately trying to be someone else? You display all the classic traits of deep-seated insecurity with the fiery comments and then shoot off about being ultimate and whatnot. You need some help girl!
I have been accused of turning into a westerner because i question the indian marraige system, by the same people who's kid broke off the marriage like a week before the wedding and married her beloved. The kid put the entire family to shame and yet was considered a 'shudh desi'. Here i am trying to be honest about what i think and i get accused....It is crap!
I can't figure out why is such a big issue being made of our social culture and stuff. Go live a life maaan! What's wrong with you guys "y" & "anonymous" both of you am sure have drool around your frickin lips on just what deepa wrote. Listen up yo bunch of losers - take a deeper look at what deepa wants to say. Guess you shmucks can't figure that out. all she is saying is that there is a life beyond a partner cheating on you and one does not need to screw their entire life for that. I
oye chill people! don't get so angry shangry yaar. it's great writing. just enjoy that.
Guess you shmucks can't figure that out. all she is saying is that there is a life beyond a partner cheating on you and one does not need to screw their entire life for that.
June 15, 2007 5:47 AM
Thanks for getting the gist of what I have been trying to say........You are probably the only one who got it right........
Guess you shmucks can't figure that out. all she is saying is that there is a life beyond a partner cheating on you and one does not need to screw their entire life for that.
June 15, 2007 5:47 AM
Thanks for getting the gist of what I have been trying to say........You are probably the only one who got it right........Thank you....
"... that there is a life beyond a partner cheating on you and one does not need to screw their entire life for that."
I agree with that. But I think you need to show the partner the door at that point. A cheating partner is not really a partner but a lowlife of the vilest kind. Deepa's opinion that you just let it by, accept it and go on with your life is what surprises or rather shocks me. I will have to agree with what someone had written earlier, seem to be major personality issues here.
This blog rocks!!!
when people have too much time on hands, this is what they do yaar....call people name shame. maybe they are jealous of people living abroad yaar.
Deepa's opinion that you just let it by, accept it and go on with your life is what surprises or rather shocks me. I will have to agree with what someone had written earlier, seem to be major personality issues here.
You got me wrong, as usual........
I had said , but god forbid, if something of that sort did happen, I would get over it and not ruin my life over it.
Excuse me .personality issues me or you?
My wife and I just saw this movie. It does bother me that Bollywood is now making movies that can be disturbing, at times, as realistic as they may be. I am talking about movies that routinely show infidelity, sexual permissiveness, and disingenuous interactions. I am concerned about the impact these movies make on the young audience with impressionable minds and even older audience with immature minds, for after all, life does imitate art, just as art imitates life. Besides, when I want to watch a Bollywood movie, I want to entertain myself by escaping reality, not depress myself by embracing it.
well said yaar!
What was portrayed in the movie? What was understood/interpreted by the watchers? ...the same? :)
To me, the movie was exactly that... "life in a metro", with highlights on the relationships of love and lust between man and woman. And, at the end of the day, this is how things are! sadly or happily, i dono, but whoever said life is all haha-heehee?
What i found interesting about the movie was that the lead couples in the movie were of different age-groups, and that they each had totally different scenarios before them.
When the character Shilpa Shetty was portraying actually did take her husband back, i was shocked; When Kangana Raut repeatedly slept with her friends brother in law, I was thinking "confused, lost, naive child who thinks she could get out of this unscathed"; When Shilpa Shetty actually goes back to the room to Shiney Ahuja, I was thinking "No way!!"; When Dharmendra and Nafisa get together, its like a happiness tinged with a sorrow that they didnt see earlier, what they see in their old age; When konkona checks shaadi.com as she does a chore and eats chocolate to cheer herself, I think "Gosh thats me!" :P
So, well... thought provoking movie for sure. And yeah, when it comes to thinking that sleeping with another woman is not a bad thing, because it makes a man feel alive and young, then he ought to realise that his mind is sick and may need a clean-up and servicing or he may not even realise the depth of the shit he is stepping into.
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