I believe, a significant number of desis, who move to the United States, have a two-dimensional focus: (a) Get a U.S. passport (b) Have kids in the United States, so if all fails you can still stick around in the country -- thanks to the nationality of their US-born children. In fact, if there are ten desis in a room, conversations about permanent residence and citizenship almost always occur. Often times, “words of advice” accompany drinks and appetizers. But people forget that no two couples are in the same situation; soliciting advice might not be the best measurement of their social skills.
As if enquiries about the value of the house and salaries weren’t bad enough; we are obsessed with other people’s work and visa statuses too?! So much so, even the desi parents visiting from the Indian subcontinent assume it’s part of the social etiquette to ask their kids' friends and relatives about their residence status. I have actually heard a desi mom comfort her daughter because her friend got her green card but she didn’t. I politely wanted to say, “It’s not a competition auntyji, and it’s sad that your immature kids have made you a part of this conversation.”
When my husband and I got our US passports, it was an unsaid rule that we wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. We didn’t think to announce it to the world because there was so much to say yet nothing really. It was a personal moment. But despite our low-key attitude, we were asked insipid questions about our American passports--if we felt any different or if our dream had come true? An Indian woman, in all seriousness, said, “Thank goodness. Now you can feel proud while walking through immigration.”
Giving up our Indian citizenship was an emotional journey that can’t be articulated. Most desis (at least from professional and educated backgrounds) from my generation moved to the US to study or because of a lucrative job opportunity. It wasn’t because we needed to earn money and send it back home or wanted to escape the parental-clutches. Our parents did well for themselves, lived in nuclear families (we always had that "space"), and introduced us to opportunities on a global scale. We are where we are today because of their support and encouragement. And probably that’s why most of us get homesick, even today, after returning from India. See, we didn’t abandon India or our families; we embraced America and newer prospects.
The nationality of your passport doesn’t make you a good or a bad person. It doesn’t change your ideologies. Getting the American passport brings along with it many interesting experiences and responsibilities, similar to any other passport, but sometimes more extreme.
Tune in next week to read about how I was singled out at one of the airports (not in the US) recently because of my American passport. I have to say, it was the most baffling experience of my life!
More until next time,
Xoxo
Copyright © 10.01.2010
“My face is my passport” ~ Vladimir Horowitz
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2 comments:
It is an emotional journey, Sweta, to give up the Indian citizenship, so much so that, although we could have gotten the US citizenship three years ago, we still haven't made any move to take that first step and file the paperwork! My brother-in-law keeps up after us that at least apply for it before there are any changes to US policies. But something holds us back :( . Well, may be, before this year ends, we would have done something about that !!
As always, a great read that hit home !!
It is an emotional journey, Sweta, to give up the Indian citizenship, so much so that, although we could have gotten the US citizenship three years ago, we still haven't made any move to take that first step and file the paperwork! My brother-in-law keeps up after us that at least apply for it before there are any changes to US policies. But something holds us back :( . Well, may be, before this year ends, we would have done something about that !!
As always, a great read that hit home !!
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