Where are social services when you need 'em?

So, my husband and I were in India the last couple of weeks. It was a wonderful trip! We met many of our dear, loved ones – both family and friends.  In fact, I am still homesick. Anyways, on our return, as we boarded the aircraft with a heavy heart and memories of an extraordinary visit, Lady Luck nudged and said, “All good things must come to an end.”

Our 14-hour flight to NYC was one from hell. There were six infants, between the ages of six months to twelve months, in the row in front of us. The babies decided to put up an unfettered, non-stop “crying-show” for all aboard. To be fair, three of the kids cried intermittently, which was understandable - given their age and the pressure on their ears and limited movement etc. etc.  But the other three children, who were triplets,  were uninhibited tear-exhibitionists. They wailed incessantly for fourteen hours. I am not kidding! I mean, there was nothing stopping them! I wanted to pull a Van Gogh and chop off my ears. The piercing noise still awakens me at night. I saw couple of my in-flight neighbors ask for headache-relievers (Tylenol) and earplugs. So much so that one of the stewardesses, towards the end, lost her patience and asked if the children were just unhappy by nature. Clearly, I wasn’t overreacting.

Here comes the interesting part: Three adults accompanied the three infants - the mother and the maternal grandparents. These immature and selfish so called adults a.k.a. parents with zero parenting skills did nothing throughout. They shamelessly slept through the nightmare while the rest of the passengers writhe in misery for more than half a day. An occasional, nonchalant “What’s wrong with them?” from the mother sounded very pretentious! Did I mention that the imbeciles were prompt about acquiring and finishing their “Asian vegetarian meals” without fail? I mean, most of us could barely breathe on the flight, but this family managed to stuff themselves with three meals, around all the howling, while their kids starved.

My husband, who is otherwise a very patient man, couldn’t resist the urge to give the family a piece of his mind. Could you blame him? I was tempted too! But thankfully, just as he stood up, the stewardess intervened. The parsimonious three idiots made the triplets share their pacifier. Are you kidding me? The minute they pulled the pacifier out of one kid’s mouth, the deprived one would have a meltdown. On seeing the bawling child, the other two kids would put up an unstoppable performance. These parents/grandparents barely got up to walk the kids. Or tried calming them. Or feeding them on time. They pretty much held the triplets hostage between those four middle seats and shared food bottles. The mother and the grandmother slept like maniacs as if they were in a spa getting a chocolate massage while the infants looked hungry and exhausted.

I know; it’s too much to ask for adults-only flight, but can the airlines at least create sections on the plane and sound proof areas with irresponsible parents?! I believe the child isn’t at fault! What does an infant know about socially appropriate conduct and understanding responsibilities? They are dependant! But parents need to concede that becoming a parent and learning parenting skills are two different dynamics. Any unprepared person can become a parent but very few can take the role seriously to think beyond themselves and embrace the role of good parenting.

C’mon, haven’t you met those people who never say NO to their children? Their kid could be wiping their dirty hands on your sofa or throwing things around your house, but not a word. My youngest niece is 18 months old. My husband and I recently met her in Bombay. My mother-in-law has gorgeous Swarovski crystal pieces and Lladro figurines on display, but this kid doesn’t touch a thing. I am not suggesting that the little one is God’s gift to mankind just because she’s my niece.  All I am saying is that my sister-in-law and brother-in-law take the time out of their lives to teach and preach her. They make an effort to guide her because good parenting requires spending time and teaching your children the right things versus just winging it at other people’s expense! And as a bystander, sometimes all you need to see is effort.

 

More until next time,

Xoxo

Copyright © 02. 17.2010

 

"The Hebrew word for parents is horim, and it comes from the same root as moreh, teacher. The parent is, and remains, the first and most important teacher that the child will have"
-- Rabbi Kassel Abelson

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