No home to call their own

The other night, after work, I met up with a good friend for a cup of steaming hot latte. It was a cold evening, and the café was just the perfect place to play catch up without being caught in the snow.

Aside from our love for words, this friend and I have another thing in common: our nomadic upbringing. We both grew up across different countries and cultures. While she studied in Paris as a teenager, I went to school in North Africa for a few years until I joined my boarding school in Mussoorie, India.

Eventually, she, along with her parents and siblings, moved back to New York City; my parents returned to India. Both our families had the option to return “home” when they were ready. They could make that journey without thinking twice about “could they?”

On my recent trip to Dubai, India, and Singapore, I had the opportunity to enter the world of a high profile Pakistani journalist. For the sake of anonymity, let’s forget the “how” and “where” of the meeting. This man had to temporarily move from Europe to Pakistan due to work visa issues. The couple has teenaged children. Their son, while attending school in Pakistan, began to show signs of inappropriate “influence.” The journalist’s own father asked his son (This man I am referring to) to get out of Pakistan as soon as he could. And to take his family along with him. He feared his grandson would join the “wrong” side. The family moved. But they don’t know for sure if and when they can ever go back to the home where their extended family lives.

My friend asked, “Didn’t India and Pakistan get their freedom around the time? I replied in the affirmative. She asked further, “How are they so different? What’s up with that?”

I joked, “You tell me. I hear so many westerners want to visit India but no one says the same about Pakistan.”

Mid-way through my sentence, I turned serious. There is nothing light-hearted about what is happening in India’s neighboring nation. There is nothing funny about murder and crime. A life lost is a life lost. Color, countries, and boundaries don’t matter.

I said: “Sometimes I wonder about the same. We were one and the same country. Less than seventy years ago, we overthrew the British. Fought for freedom. Then we killed our brothers and sisters. Stole from each other. Orphaned children. Raped women. Despite all of that, India has emerged as the future while Pakistan’s future is feared by its own people.”

Punjab Governor Salman Taseer’s was recently shot dead in Islamabad. Facebook and Twitter were flooded with stories about his assassination. My friend and junior from school, Nikhil Kumar, shared this article written by Mohammed Hanif. It’s incredible, and I highly recommend reading it. The article makes you wonder if Pakistani culture is to blame for all the mayhem in that country.

I have been talking to a few writers based in Pakistan. And they don’t have the most promising things to say about their own wellbeing. They might have gotten used to the idea of an unsafe existence, but I feel helpless. Also, as a writer, if you live in a place where freedom of speech is a myth, how do you survive?

I visited Karachi, twice, in the days when Anil Kapoor (of Slumdog Millionaire fame) was a big hit. Perhaps around late 80s to early 90s. I didn't think Karachi was very different from New Delhi. Similar looking people listening to Hindi music and eating spicy chicken curry, naan, and gulab jamuns. So, for the longest time, I never understood the stated differences between the two countries: India and Pakistan.

But as the wise folks say, time is the best teacher. The more I drown in my world of words, the more differences I see between India and Pakistan.

Can you imagine not being able to return to the land where your history, legacy, and memories lay buried? The simple things we take for granted.

I met a poet recently who, like me, happens to be a first generation immigrant. She moved to NYC with her family when Ukraine was a part of Soviet Union. I promptly asked her, “How often do you go back?” She responded, “Never. It’s not safe.” Over two decades ago was when she last saw the country where she spent her childhood.

My Palestinian-American pals have that pining hunger in their eyes to experience their history. To feel their soil. To smell the water where their grandparents bathed. To touch the walls of their ancestral house. But it’s either a distant dream or a nightmare—if they do manage to visit. I don’t even want to get into the horror stories I have heard.

As a person of Indian origin, thank god, I have never had to worry about not being able to visit India. Yet. And I can only hope and pray India will remain that way.

Home is where your hearts is. Picking a new home out of your own free choice is one thing; but, having the choice of returning back to your roots taken away, is different.

More until next time,

Xoxo

Copyright © 01.15.2011

“Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.” John Ed Pearce

The world’s largest democracies are screwed up

Section I

Not too long ago when a Jewish colleague of mine said, “I love the holidays,” I responded, “You mean Christmas?” She retorted, “I don’t celebrate Christmas! I am not Christian; it’s the holidays for me.” When I said, “I would like to visit your synagogue,” she looked surprised. “Sure. But you will have to seek permission from the rabbi. Maybe get a letter?” I was taken aback. All I wanted to do was learn about a religion I didn’t grow up with. Why the automatic assumption that I was up to something?

When I said to a friend recently, “India is truly a secular country,” she looked confused. Being an American, she knows that America was built on religious freedom. How could any country beat that? I told her that religious tolerance and acceptance were not really the same thing.

Unlike India, there aren’t many countries where people are involved in inter-faith holidays: Muslims in India celebrate Holi and Diwali. Hindus await platters of biryani and sevai on Eid from their Muslim friends. I remember my mother baking cookies for Christmas and hanging stockings for Santa to leave us presents. The finger-licking food at gurudwara was to die for. And most of us grew up visiting gurudwaras, churches, and temples. Despite all the other political and inter-faith chaos, when it comes to festivals, Indians don’t care which faith you are born into.

In my yoga studio, a South Korean place focused on breathing and energy balancing, there are laminated charts depicting the significance of each chakra. One of the yoga postures requires everyone in the class to turn their body at an angle. And it so happens that turning at that angle ends up in you bowing to the laminated chakra illustrations. Frankly, I didn’t notice anything unusual on the wall until two middle-aged women refused to complete the asana. When the yoga teacher asked them the reason, they said, “We can’t pray to the God you have on the wall.” Amazing how someone shows up for yoga without knowing what “chakras” mean! But in any case, can you argue with someone who believes that appreciating another faith makes you less loyal to your own?

I wonder if religions in the US, in their quest of being exclusive, forget to become inclusive. We might have carved out a place for different religious faiths on paper, but have we made room in our hearts for them? We have been so busy, for generations, preserving traces of our own heritage that we never truly learnt to accept someone else’s. And tolerating and embracing are not the same thing!

Celebrating Diwali or Eid or Chanukah won’t make you any less Hindu or Muslim or Jewish or Buddhist or Christian, but it will make you more open-hearted and compassionate. It can bring you closer to a culture other than your own.

The other problem is that we sometimes give each other a little too much space. We are too different and have too many differences of opinions on God. But we fear asking the wrong questions and offending people. Curiosity is the foundation of growth. This obsession with “I,” “Me,” and “Myself” ideology is manifesting misconceptions and stereotypes. End result: The distance between dissimilarities is growing at a rate faster than closeness through similarities.

Look at the mess we are in today. How can a nation truly emerge victorious from an emotional and religious crunch unless it teaches its citizens the true meaning of acceptance?

Section II

The first time I watched Saturday Night Live and one of the late night (Maybe Jay Leno or David Letterman) news show in New York, the then president of the country was being made fun of. I was shocked and impressed in the same breath. I had never seen anything like that in India. Sure, in the movie “Roja,” the female protagonist alluded to the 1989 kidnapping of Rubaiya Sayeed and her release in exchange for five terrorists. But that was the extent of it.

You must have read about the latest brouhaha consuming India. Author-activist Arundhati Roy might be facing “sedition charges” for backing Kashmir’s independence. BJP suggests that Roy should be hanged because she said, “Jammu and Kashmir was never an integral part of India and that British imperialism was replaced in 1947 by Indian colonialism.”

Roy might be arrested for voicing her opinion? I am baffled. I bet she’s not the first person to utter anti-government and pro azaad-Kashmir words. So, why her? Because she is a woman and a famous writer, so it’s easy to single her out and attack her?

People don’t have to agree with what Roy has to say. Hell, they don’t have to like what she says. As a person of Indian origin, I don’t fancy Roy’s stance or necessarily agree with her. But one can express our disagreement in a civil way. How can anyone deny her the freedom of speech—something that India guarantees its citizens? How can anyone suggest silencing her? Isn’t that against democracy? As Voltaire said, “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.”

New and Renewable Energy Minister and National Conference leader Farooq Abdullah said there was 'too much freedom' in India, which is being misused to 'destroy' the nation. Umm, interesting. Instead of worrying about what one person has to say, shouldn’t Abdullah be anxious about the one billion people behaving as dimwits? Shouldn’t he be concerned that in a country of above-average academic intelligence, the majority lacks the innate willingness to evaluate and process information thrown at them?

I am given the argument that freedom of speech and responsibility go hand-in-hand. But I ask a basic question: How much is “too much” freedom? And who decides the limits of liberty? Politicians with only their personal interests at stake? Writers who want their voices heard? Or millions of people who wear goulashes of callousness?

I am sorry, but a nation that doesn’t permit its citizens to say what’s on its mind can never truly progress. One man’s terrorist is another man’s martyr. If Raja Ram Mohan Roy had chosen to be silent like the rest of the society, Hindu widows in India would still be following the heinous practice of sati! If activists hadn’t spoken against dowry and bride burning, dead women would adorn the streets of India.

The younger generation needs to be taught to examine and interrogate. We are so blinded by our day-to-day lives that we forget that our brains can accommodate more than math problems, Bollywood dialogues, and cricket statistics. Parents and teachers need to encourage inquisitiveness not shun it. Questioning the older generation doesn’t mean you are disrespecting them. Disagreeing with adages doesn’t make you any less of an Indian.

The changes have to be brought at the grassroots level in both India and the United States. To quote a friend, “Pity the nation that has to silence its writers. Pity the nation that's afraid of dissent.” I will add to that: Pity the nation that practices selective democracy. Pity the nation that is afraid of opening its heart and mind.

More until next time,

Xoxo

Copyright © 10.28.2010

“Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.” – Oscar Wilde

Are you living with bitchier and dumber?

Look around the room. I mean that figuratively. You will definitely find one person who is dumb and bitchy in your friend circle or family or in your universe of acquaintances. If nowhere else, at least in the world of politics.

The kind of person, who irrespective of their age, gender, or race stirs up trouble. The reason? My guess is as good as yours: either to gain attention or just for the heck of it because their watch has way too many unaccounted for minutes. If BAU folks from the show Criminal Minds were to describe this character, they would say, “This person might come across as classy, but is truly insecure and jealous of his or her own surroundings. Money can’t buy class. The only way such people can exist is by dramatizing smallest of scenarios and purposefully belittling others. They are ignorant and presumptuous. They have minimal to no confidence in their personality. They shadow others’ opinions and rarely have their own individual ideas. You have seen them in your rooms, parks, or television sets.” I hope Hotch (The BAU team’s boss on the show) is pleased to read this description and offers me a job.J

Basically, these are the people whose butts enter spaces where they don’t belong. I recently read on CNN.com that a nondenominational church in Gainesville, Florida has planned to host, “International Burn a Quran Day” on the ninth anniversary of September 11^th terrorist attacks on the United States. They believe Islam is the religion of the “devil.”

No one can or should ever forget what happened on 9/11. Innocent lives were lost. It’s changed the world we live in, and I just don’t mean in NYC or the US. The December 2001 attack on the Indian parliament was called India’s 9/11 and the parliament, Ground Zero. And reports show that it was again Muslim terrorists that carried out the attacks in India too.

But does that give this church the right to do what they are thinking of doing? Can one inhumane act be responded with another of the same kind? Why hold the entire religion and Muslim community responsible for those fundamentalists? Not every Muslim promotes such heinous crimes. Such suppositions and people fall under the category of “bitchier and dumber” just like those bunch of people in your personal lives who we discussed earlier in the post.

Nations and continents have their own social and economical issues to deal with (poverty, illiteracy, hunger, crime etc.), but sometimes they choose to spend their energy and resources on wrong venues. Hatred can only birth hatred. I am no saint, and I am still very upset about 9/11. But I believe it’s wrong to assume that every Muslim in this world is an extremist looking to kill a non-Muslim. If you have decided to turn your brains into a vestigial organ, at least have a heart! Maybe your heart will show you the true troubles.

Based on the issues consuming India and Africa, a poet from Zimbabwe, Mbizo Chirasha and I have created a poetry collection (published by Cyberwit 2010), “Whispering Woes of Ganges & Zambezi.” While Mbizo uses free verse, I delve into Haikus to highlight our points. The book came about because of our frustration with the system and basically politicians minding everybody else’s but their own business!

It’s available for purchase in India and the US (Folks in the tri-state area, I have a few copies for purchase in case you want to save on your shipping costs).

So, support an end to “bitchier and dumber” and get your copy today! And until your copy arrives, pl. read my first American interview related to "Because All Is Not Lost."

More until next time,


Xoxo



Copyright © 08.12.2010

“You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time.” Abraham Lincoln