Promises of a Jane Fonda body on a common man’s budget? Oh those sneaky...

We are less than two weeks shy of the New Year. Most people, with a reasonable emotional quotient, take out some time from their lives to reflect upon the past year. I call this period the “epiphany phase”. What went wrong or what worked for them? Are there ways they could alleviate the stress in their forthcoming year? Etc. etc. etc. This bedlam stage for a common man is a marketer’s dream come true moment.

The other day, a good friend of mine and I were chatting about our respective holiday plans when she casually enquired if I had worked on any New Year resolutions. I was like “What? Are you kidding me?” An obsessive-compulsive planner like me thrives on the opportunity to make a commitment for 365 days. Every 31st December, by midnight, I make a promise to myself, which I never reveal to anyone until the goal is achieved. Even then, a chosen few hear about my infamous New Year resolutions and their success and failure rate. As the year progresses, I diligently mentally check off “All achieved” and highlight “Here’s what’s pending,” and mourn over “Damn it! Need to carry it over to next year,” list. Of course, for the triumphant execution of my goals, I seek certain worldly assistance in terms of goods and services. For instance, if one of my goals was to work on my writing skills, the service I would seek would be a writing class or a workshop.

Up until last morning, I thought I was all alone in my fanaticism until I got a note from a friend. He has made a list of 101 things that he wants to achieve in 1001 days. The list involves a variety of to-do-list—right from exploring out vegetarianism for a defined period of time to trying out Indian cuisine to participating in a race to properly managing his money. I was intrigued. A lot of his resolutions resonated with mine (I am still not telling what my goals are for the New Year), and we have never talked about what each of us wants to achieve in 2009. Hmmm. This can’t be just a coincidence.

I personally believe that we humans share a common platform for core issues. Be it money, health, career, personal life etc., the foundation of existence is defined by a few items. Sure, it might take different shapes depending on individual needs and wants. For example, this is the time of the year when people lose amour-propre. Thanks to all the holiday parties and living-in-the-moment spirit, some gain obvious amounts of weight which triggers the feeling of guilt about abusing their system with unwarranted amounts of solids and liquid, so they make goals to improve/enhance something about their lives. Voila! This is where the successful marketer creeps in like Santa Claus and helps bridge the gap between the human desire/guilt/goal/New Year resolution—(give it whatever name you like) and the product/service that would ensure the execution of the wish. For instance, most health clubs in New York City have phenomenal sales in the month of January. Before you know it, people get suckered into the deal with dreamy eyes and a culpable conscience.

Another example: A lot of people I know have career-oriented goals for the New Year. So, do you remember seeing the “Oh so alluring” deals on laptops at the beginning of every year? Who do you think they cater to? How about the $0 down payment on a new home theatre system?

We humans are predictable to quite some extent and companies are getting better at targeted marketing. I have been receiving invites to free One-day writing workshops in the month of January. Gee, I wonder how that happened.

The marketers know enough people have some form of self enhancement as a goal and so prey onto the nucleus of human weaknesses. They know most would probably fall right into their trap as what the marketers are doing, is providing that connective tissue between the “desiree” and the “desired”. Maybe marketers do get a carte blanche around this time of the year. I wish I could say, “Watch out,” but I am one of those professionals myself trying to make a living in this tough world. C'est la vie

More until next time.
Xoxo

Copyright © 12.18.2008

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone elses opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” – Oscar wilde

This Holiday Season

This holiday season, I see
solitude roam the streets
of New York instead of
awestruck, cackling tourists
sipping steaming cappuccino.

This holiday season, I hear
budgets, complaints, woes,
louder than any prayers
music, or wishes. Is sound
exploring its new destiny?

This holiday season, I sense
Santa and his elves will be
making fewer stops. The
wishes made and cookies
baked are incomprehensible.

This holiday season, stores
have more ghosts than
people. The rustling of the
clothes sound like harsh
trampling of holiday hopes.

This holiday season, I hear
families coming closer, hearts
healing, echo of true feelings
because holidays are about
cherishing what you have
and not what’s missing.

More until next time.
Xoxo

Copyright © 12.11.2008

Deciphering the rising emotions

I know. The heinous terrorist attacks on Mumbai happened a week ago, and maybe like the indifferent Indian politicians, I should let go. But I can’t. Not until I share what I have been thinking, hearing, and debating. The Indian world is upsurge with emotions: anger, depression, shock, frustration, resentment, and melancholy.

I see fingers being pointed and defensive arguments occupying our daily conversations. Most of the world, not privy to the historic religion-based chaos in South Asia, fails to understand the ongoing sentiments. I am a big believer in the political faux pas brought about by Gandhi (notice how I deliberately didn’t add “ji” to his name. In my eyes, he lost all respect the day I figured out the history of Indian independence), Nehru, and Jinnah. For their own ulterior, selfish motives, they divided the nation. They are dead, and look at what the rest of us are facing.

The next day after the attacks, a very dear Pakistani friend of mine called to check on me—to see if my family and I were alright and if everything was fine between him and I. He knows I am emotional and just wanted to make sure. I told him blatantly that I wish I was an Indian commando saving lives, and I suspect his government (if you heard the interview with one of the terrorist, you would too) but not every Pakistani citizen. He is a friend first. His faith and nation don’t make a difference to me. I am no God’s gift to mankind, and I am definitely not trying to toot my own horn, but I wonder if everyone thought my way—just for that day. I doubt it. Few of my Muslim friends, Indian and Pakistani alike, have faced prejudice after every terrorist attacks. These are moderate, peace-loving (like the rest of us) Muslims, who are adorned with suspicious looks just because of the extremists from their realm of faith. Mumbai Muslims have refused to bury the body of the terrorists in their cemetery. How much more they need to prove?

Having said all of the above, but I also understand that in times of calamity, we humans look for an anchor. Someone to pass on the blame on to. Education, sensibility, reasoning, and rationale break all humane boundaries. Sikhs were targeted after Indira Gandhi’s assassination, Hindus were targeted after Babri Masjid havoc, Arabs and Arab looking men were targeted in the US after 9/11. Were these hate crimes justified? I personally denounce them. The entire community shouldn’t have to pay for the few miscreants.

The other day, someone asked me, “Why does the Indian government denounce Pakistan?” I said, “Why did the American government mispronounce Iraq as Eye-rack and blame it for trouble everywhere?” It is my belief that India doesn’t refer to Pakistani citizens when it holds Pakistan accountable for these crimes; it condemns the Pakistani government’s support of terrorism or harboring of terrorists. It is similar to the American government’s stance on Afghanistan and Iraq. I don’t think the US holds every Afghanistani or Iraqi responsible for mayhem in the world; just the government’s supporting it.

So, where am I going with this blog? I don’t know. I want answers from the Indian politicians. The CM of Maharsthra then, Vilasrao Deshmukh, never once consoled the people of Mumbai, but soon after things calmed down, he was seen entering the Taj along with his actor son, Ritesh Deshmukh and producer/director, Ram Gopal Varma. That’s when I get angry and shocked. I am frustrated with the Indian media’s unprofessional portrayal of India and their insolent coverage. Amazing, TAJ hotel got maximum reporting because the rich and the famous hangout there while CST was conveniently ignored. Poor lives don’t matter as much as the socialites of Mumbai? The Indian commandos who died in the line of duty, I salute them, and I truly believe India is honored by their martyrdom. But I feel melancholic that the few Indian officials, who cared, are now deceased.

It makes me proud that New Yorkers haven’t forgotten or forgiven 9/11 or the lives lost that day. Our desi “It’s okay,” attitude and tendency to forget isn’t acceptable anymore. Resilience is one thing; callousness towards human life is another. Just because you didn’t lose a dear one in the Mumbai attacks, doesn’t give you the right to accept and move on. Every single day of our lives, we should remember what happened to Mumbai and to the brave hearts that died saving it. This would honor the lives lost and perhaps make us stronger and less vulnerable as a nation.

Without killing, it’s time we Indian citizens took matters in our own hands and showed some solidarity. We should focus on the bigger picture—the safety and security of our future because clearly our incompetent government won’t do anything about it. You’d think the parliament bombing in 2001 and 2002 would have taught them something. But has it?

More until next time.
Xoxo

Copyright © 12.04.2008

"The mind is everything. What you think you become.” Buddha

What the Mumbai attacks taught me this Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving, one of the most popular American holidays where people spend time with the family and cook an elaborate meal. Every family has its own ritual. Aside from gormandizing on the delectable Thanksgiving spread prepared by my husband’s aunt in Maryland, I follow another ritual for this holiday. Every year, I take out moments out of my chaotically busy schedule to create, at least a mental list, of things I am thankful for. My list usually represents a flavorful mix of serious (the publishing of my first book of poems, Pabulum; my wonderful family and friends; the birth of our beautiful niece, Noyonika; the new, Democratic President –elect in the White House etc.) and comic (Sarah Palin’s existence: Saturday Night Live wouldn’t be as much fun without her; Priyanka Chopra’s devotion to Bollywood despite her esoteric choice in movies and series of flops etc.) points.

I am a creature of habit. Until last afternoon, I had my Oscar list ready that read, “I am thankful for ……” but the heinous attacks in Mumbai, India changed everything.

Call me selfish, but in moments of panic, we all think first of our dear ones. I am thankful to God that my friends and family are safe. I am thankful that I cherish life—both others and mine. I have a heart that is human unlike these coward terrorists who callously kill innocent people and are nonchalant about their own death. And, for what? I am thankful that my parents gave me the right values, so I am not blinded by skin color or religion, but can you imagine the hate wave such situations create? To quote my friend S, “They r making it difficult for moderate Muslims to live with any respect!” I am thankful I don’t use culture and traditions as an explanation for every mistake I make. I am thankful I am aptly educated so no one can convince me that killing others is the path to nirvana. I am thankful that I have a mind that seeks answers. But mostly, I am thankful that Mumbai is a resilient city. India will emerge stronger even after these attacks. There is nothing stopping us!

But I am fuming because the Indian army is still planning its next move. What? 20-hours of non-stop violence hasn’t given the government enough time and reason to plan strategy! The terrorists have broken into homes in Colaba and taken people hostage.

One of my best friend’s cousin was caught in the firing at Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus and lost her kid for sometime. She and her family are fine and at home now, but her trauma is indescribable. One of our relatives, like most others in South Bombay, heard the gun firings and mistook them for firecrackers. I understand we are a country of over 1 billion people, but that doesn’t make our lives are any less precious! I want to see Indian government officials at the scenario assuring people--the way ex-New York mayor, Giuliani took charge on 9/11. I want answers like the rest of Indians. How did these miscreants enter luxury hotels with all that ammunition? What happened to the security?

In a heated debate, I was told that the Americans like to exaggerate situations, and so everything is blown out of proportion when some calamity strikes the US. I say, maybe so, but seeing the SWAT team, FBI, cops, and marines makes me feel safe. I need to know that my life matters. Who is making Mumbaites feel safe now? Definitely not the politicians watching the drama from the comfort of their own homes.

This Thanksgiving, I urge you all to cherish your near and dear ones. We live in a volatile, unpredictable world.

More until next time.

Xoxo

Copyright © 11.27.2008

Gratitude is the memory of the heart. ~Jean Baptiste Massieu

Contentment

Over summer of 2008, my brother along with my sister-in-law and two adorable nieces visited us in New York. Of course I am biased, and like any aunt, think my nieces are the cutest things on Earth. That said, I have to say that their visit was philosophically memorable on many levels.

One day, my parents, brother and his family, and I went to Dylan’s candy bar. For those of you who don’t know, Dylan’s is a candy paradise in New York City. It’s like the Disneyland of candies. Anyways, we got inside the store and sure enough, my nieces went on a sugar high by smelling the sweetness in the air. My brother suggested to the two girls that I would allot a number and they could pick only those many numbers of candies. I was expecting a little whining, but the two of them agreed readily. After fervently exploring the store, they came and told me what they wanted—mind you, with the exact number of items, per person, we had decided upon. I was amazed. The experience is permanently etched in my memory.

Later that afternoon, my husband joined us at the candy store. Of course, he indulges them more than I do (I have a disciplinary matron inside of me, who doesn’t let the kids get away with anything and everything, which he lacks). Anyway, he asked the two of them what they wanted. Our younger niece, with the purest heart, untainted soul, and incredibly eloquent vocabulary, said,“Thank you phupha (phupha means uncle in Hindi). We are done for this time. Next time when you bring us, I’ll pick up more.” She was not even six at the time. My husband and I were both flabbergasted. Since when did kids start saying “No” to candy?

That evening, my husband said something extremely pertinent. “It’s unbelievable how content the two girls are.” He was right. I jogged down memory lane. There were times when I offered them chocolate chip cookies (every kid’s guilty pleasure), and they declined if they were full. The younger one’s savoir-vivre is incredible! Her, “No, thank you,” is affirmative yet polite. In a world bombarded with junk, these girls knew when they wanted to say no. My heart swelled with pride. The credit does go to my brother and sister-in-law for giving their daughters the best, but I want to give equal acknowledgement to the little girls for their contented hearts.

Between their visit and today, six months have passed. A lot has changed in that time frame--from America electing its first African American president to ghosts roaming the corridors of Wall Street to the market tanking in Asia and Europe, to marriages breaking over financial discord to people relocating to Neverland, finding a job, and feeding their families. The core of the problem has been human dissatisfaction with what they have—be it the mortgage giants, Wall Street icons, or people like you and I.

With people losing their jobs and families having to scale back on their lifestyle, relationships have a new dynamic and meaning today—especially the ones built only on materialism. I have heard of women whining and asking their husbands when they could move back to their Park Avenue mansions from their average “like-everyone-else’s home.” Really? My six and a half-year old niece has more compassion. She understands good and bad times. When your own spouse lacks the empathy in bad times, whom do you turn to? You await coup de grâce. Reading about adults acting like imbeciles and making superfluous demands makes me all the more appreciative of my nieces’ gratification.

In these tough times, along with the right sense of humor, what gets you through the day is contentment. When my husband asked me the other day, “What do you want to do for the anniversary?” I said, “If we have a job until then, we’ll go to a nice restaurant for a meal; if we get laid off, we’ll order in.” Just knowing in your heart that aside from your basics, joie de vivre shouldn’t be measured based on materialism, gives you a good perspective on bad times.

More until next time.
Xoxo

Copyright © 11.20.2008

"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best." - Oscar Wilde

Does media “shape” our lives?

There is nothing more humbling for a writer than reviewing their own inscription and saying, “I stand corrected today.” Okay, before the post gets anymore esoteric, let the confessions begin.

When I was doing my masters at Columbia University, in one of the classes, we discussed the role of media in our day-to-day lives. One of the debates was whether media and fast food chains had conspired together to add to the growing obesity epidemic. The common belief was that enticing people with scrumptious food, was the sinister teams’ collaborative, insidious effort and essentially immoral.

At that time, as a marketer, I thought the accusation was blasphemous. We, as humans, need to take responsibility for our own actions. Media does its job of spreading the word; we need to take the messages with a pinch of salt and do ours. Just because the Burger King Ad make fries look like food of the Gods and the zesty salad from Taco Bell shows lettuce crisper than a cotton sari, doesn’t mean you have to go out and get some. How about the resolve to refrain from it? Also, in the larger scheme of things, both media and the fast food chain are trying to make a buck. Aren’t we all, so why this brouhaha about morality?

I attributed the problem of portliness to change in lifestyle: frankly, kids these days are couch potatoes with an insatiable desire for junk; with both parents working, there isn’t always time to cook a fresh meal (fast food is still quick and inexpensive); and, there is the culpability factor, where working parents try to compensate for their absence by fulfilling their kids’ demands--however inane they might be. All the sanctimonious souls, who blame the media for being the wrongful influencer, need to toughen up and act like adults.

Two and a half years later, with the outcome of the US elections, I stand corrected. I think differently about the role of media in our lives. We saw history being made and don’t tell me media didn’t have a hand in it. The 44th President-elect, Barack Obama, the nation’s heartthrob literally, was the first African American to get elected as the President of the United States of America.

As a marketer, I feel, Obama did a magnificent job of reaching out to his target audience. His positioning and messaging were impeccable. Like the Apple brand (by the way, I am a proud member of the Apple cult), Obama found out what people wanted and where they were. He then strategically used the media as his messenger. Obama’s campaign promised change. Even though change means different things to different people, change is what significant number of Americans and the world wanted. One of the political gurus on Anderson Cooper’s Show said, “Obama married the Internet.” He hit the nail on the head. Every time I went online, be it Facebook or email or a news website, there he was, promising change.

My nine-year old precocious niece in Singapore, who has one of the most beautiful minds, was ecstatic with Obama’s triumph. Apparently, even prior to November 4th, US elections were what she and her friends discussed. She knows Obama’s children’s names and age. Well, she also knows why Elvis meant the world to Hawaiians, but we’ll let that be for now (remember, astuteness is her middle name). I was shocked! Seriously? Politics? But, what happened to playing with Barbie or nurse-doctor? Anyway, when I told her that Obama was a Columbia alumni, I sensed pride in her tone. I said, “Why are you pro-Obama?” Her response, “I don’t know. I just like him.”

Sure she likes him. The biased media portrayed Obama as a messiah of change, and boom, he had a global fan following. Even my parents and friends in India can’t stop raving about Obama’s warm smile and personality even though his foreign policies might actually hurt them. Obama strategically used the right media to reach the right audience for the right purposes. Media did influence people’s decision-making capabilities. Was that moral? If I am not wrong, didn’t Washington Post get heat for its biased reporting?

If I revere Obama’s marketing capabilities and the role of media in his success, how can I reject how powerful media is in encouraging that walk to the fast food store when you are hungry or bored? Children and adults alike are impressionable. The degrees may vary. How much moral liability should media take, is a whole other question.

What do you think? Do you believe in Graham Greene’s, “Media is just a word that has come to mean bad journalism?” or “Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century,” Marshall Mcluhan.

More until next time.
Xoxo

Copyright © 11.13.2008

“There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here”--Mark Twain

Vote for Change!

Let me start by saying that I was ecstatic to find a seat on the subway this morning. It meant people were out voting. At the last elections, only 38% of Americans voted. You might think the numbers are appalling low, but that’s the average turnaround. However, today people are expected to show up in record numbers to vote. People want change, and they see hope for that change. Whatever be the outcome, I believe, life as we know it will change forever after 2008 presidential elections.

I live in New York, so most people I know have either already voted for Obama or will by the end of the day today. My coworkers have literally built an “Obama Temple” at work. I know many friends, coworkers, and family members will shed tears of ecstasy tonight if Obama wins. A couple of (closeted) Republicans I know get snide remarks. I don’t think people dislike McCain; they look down upon his choice for vice-presidential candidate—the only and only, Sarah Palin. The more I read and find out about her, the more I fight the urge to hurl. Polls show that she is hurting McCain. Why am I not surprised! Not to forget, McCain is a republican and so is George Bush. Go figure! My friend’s wife said, “I am not crazy about either Obama or McCain. I have had enough of republicans. I want change.” So, it’s not just about the candidate, but it’s about the political parties too.

When one of my coworkers asked me who I would vote for, here is what I said, “A candidate with Obama’s charisma, McCain’s experience, Hillary’s background and Sarah Palin’s looks.” Jokes aside, if I could, I would vote for a candidate not based on his or her popularity but on the issues they stand for and the principles they believe in. I would vote for hope and change and life. Most importantly, the candidate and I would need to belong to the same belief system. Hero-worshipping a sportsperson or an actor is one thing; being blindly mesmerized by a presidential candidate opens up unwarranted cans of worms.

So, yes, I am ready for change: Change in economy, change in how America is perceived by the rest of the world, change in the way human lives are valued, and change in how I feel every morning. I, like several others, am tired of feeling anxious all the time. I want to wake up one morning and not have to worry. At this point, I desperately need a change.

More until next time.
Xoxo

Copyright © 11.04.2008

“Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.”-- John Quincy Adams